So Why Do You Want A Baby?

Ok ……. I’m probably going to really upset some with this post.

I was going to keep my thoughts to myself. But I have been thinking about this all night. Getting more and more pissed off as the hours go by.

Yesterday I was searching different blog’s when I cam across some ‘ right for life’ blog’s.

These blog’s got me so worked up it wasn’t funny. I always ‘thought’ I sat closer to the ‘ right for life’ side of the fence. Not 100% over there though. While I myself would like to think I would never have a abortion (and I have always thought like this – way before I ever knew we would need IVF) I am still a big believer that it should not be against the law. We don’t want to go back to the days where women put their life in danger by having ‘ back yard’ abortions.  Making it against the law won’t stop it happening.

Since needing to do IVF though I have come to realise that EVERYONES situation is different. And until you walk in someone’s shoes you should never judge.

I mean, I would like to think I wouldn’t have a abortion but I have not been in a situation where I have ever had to consider one.

And might I just add that my opinion on abortions (for me) has nothing at all to do with ‘ the embryo is a baby’ argument. That doesn’t come into my reasoning at all. I’m just a person who doesn’t deal with guilt very well and ‘I think’ it would be something that I would have major problems with for the rest of my life.

Anyway, getting back to why I was really pissed off when reading these blog’s.

It seems that the ‘right for life’ lot not only don’t like you taking life but they are also against making life!!! (can you really have it both ways??)

They seem to be VERY against IVF. The whole designer babies thing upsets them greatly.

Now I’m also not a fan of designer babies. I don’t personally believe in sex selection (other than for medical reasons), I don’t think you need to pick eye colour or hair colour. (shit as long as you have a healthy baby who cares).

The problem I found was the ‘ right for life’ lot don’t like IVF at all.

You see it seems that if you do IVF you should have to explain ‘ why you want a baby’. And wanting to have a baby because you have a burning desire to have children and make a family is not a good enough reason. Its a selfish reason.

Well I want to know why having a baby because you ‘ want’ a baby is ok if you can fall pregnant the old fashion way but not if you need IVF.

Is it ok to be selfish if you don’t need IVF? And while we are on the subject, why do people who need IVF need to have a reason for wanting a baby? No one asks a couple who can conceive naturally why they want a baby. But it seems to be a question asked to IVF couples all the time.

Yes I agree having a baby (anyone – IVF or naturally) is in many ways a selfish act. We have babies because ‘we’ want them, ‘we’ want a family, ‘we’ want to feel more compleat. Hell if we all wanted to be completely unselfish we would all adopt babies who need good homes. Babies and children who have nothing. Not bring new life into this sometimes harsh and depressing world.

But thats not life. (though I do think people who adopt are amazing and wonderful people)

I just don’t believe a couple who can have a baby without assistance has anymore right to be selfish, fill their own needs for a family anymore than a couple who need a little help!


5 Responses

  1. I would say that *those* right-to-lifers are more about God and God’s will than ‘life’ particularly. If you are meant to have a baby then God will send you one, therefore no abortions and no IVF.

    It’s a minefield out there and parenting blogs as opposed to loss and infertility blogs are pretty harsh.

  2. Its probably a good thing I’m not a religious person.
    If I was I would be really pissed off at my God right about now.
    I would also be wondering what drugs he was on when he decided to give the crack whore down the road 5 kids and S and I none.
    I would be wondering why such a wonderful person would put innocent children in that situation rather than a kind, loving and caring home.
    ‘Those’ kind of religious people just give religion a bad name!
    Hugs Brenda

  3. Brenda, I think the majority of the anti-IVFers are against it not due to designer babies or because it’s selfish. They are against it because IVF necessitates the creation of multiple embryos, some of which will either be discarded or will be “reduced” (i.e., killed) in the womb. So the real objection to IVF is that it requires the destruction of human life. Now, if you want to argue that the embryo is not human life, then that’s another matter. But most “right to life” people argue that it is, and thus they have a principled objection to taking life in this way. On one other note,I’m not sure that I have to walk in a rapist’s or a child-molester’s shoes before I can make moral judgments about him.

  4. I’m very sorry to hear about your baby, Zak. I hope you stay out of the funny farm, too.

  5. @Lilmonkeysmum – so if God wants you to have cancer you should just lie down and die from it, not seeking treatment? After all if God wanted you to live longer he wouldn’t have given you cancer right?


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