3 Litres Of Milk Slaped Across A Nana’s Head

I think I’m a rather reasonable mother of a sleeping angel. Reasonable infertile women.

I go to baby showers, visit mums with their new bubs in hospital, talk to toddlers, talk to mums about their toddlers, smile at pg women, ask them how they are, how far along they are. Talk to women about the births of their babies. I’m happy to buy baby stuff for others, wonder in the baby department with my pg sister, read birth stories, look at photos of new bubs and be genuanly happy for couples who are all having babies around me.

When reading back on all of this, I have to say, after everything S and I have been through, I think I have it together really well. Im happy with my behaviour. With my willingness to not let the world beat me. To not let ‘whoever’ decides who should be happy and who shouldn’t be to get the better of me.

Over all I think Im a ok kinda person!

NOT TODAY!!!!!

Today for some really strange reason I just didn’t cope. I was walking through a shopping center when I came across a group of women all talking about their pg daughters and daughter who have just had bubs. These women were all cooing over their grandchildren. Showing photos to each other and talking about weights and due dates.

Normally this would all be fine. I would be very happy for them all – any other day – just not today. I don’t know why I was pissed off at them today. But as they all talked their baby dribble I felt my face go red with anger. My hand had this terrible twitch. And I had a burning desire to slap each and everyone of them across the head with a large 3 litres of milk! I wanted to scream at them all ‘ well arnt you all just fu#ken lucky. Must be nice to have live babies in your lives’.

I wanted to tell them that the rest of the world doesn’t need to hear of their cute baby stories. That the rest of the world wishes they would ‘get a room’ to disguss such topics.

That the rest of the world hates having their live baby stories rubbed in her its face.

But I didn’t. I just walked passed them all. Smiled. And died inside!

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I Have Been Googled!

You know I have really enjoyed this whole blogging thing.

Its really a great way to get out in the open what you REALLY think about things, people and situations.

That is until you realise people you ‘ know’ are reading it. You know the people I’m talking about. The one’s that are not on the other side of a computer. The one’s that you see face to face in ‘the real world’.

Once you realise ‘those’ people are searching the net for your blog it kinda feels strange.

You all of a sudden have to be VERY careful about what you REALLY think and feel.

Its a shame really.

Today I saw that someone had googled my name + IVF + blog. Now call me suspicious but it kinda makes me wonder if someone who ‘knows’ me was looking for my blog.

Whoever you are , don’t take offence to this post. I’m flattered that you might have thought I had something interesting to say/type. But it does kinda end the freedom to talk freely about YOU things I need to get out in the open! Lol