Cycle # ????? Oh Who Can Remember!

Well the next cycle is getting closer and closer. 

The closer it gets the more I want to wait another month.

Am I going to want to put it off forever?

Do I just go ahead and do it?

Will I ever be ready?

I’m scared I might never have another baby and I’m scared I will get pg again and that baby will die as well.

A few people have said to me ‘ don’t cycle again unless you know you can cope with another loss’.

Who gets up and goes ‘ Yup I can cope with another dead baby’?

That’s just not normal to think like that.

I turn 31 in a few weeks.  I always said I wanted to have 3 kids by the time I was 30. 

Then I said I would be happy to just have one.  Well I got my one.  My one little precious angel.  I must have forgot to say I wanted a living, happy and healthy baby by the time I was 30.  Silly me!

I hope to have baby number 2 by the time I’m 32.  But I would like to state for the record, that I would like this one to live.  To be a happy, health chubby bub.  PLEASE