Nothing Like A Good Jab

The cycle is the first cycle that I have still been jabbing drugs through the 2ww.

Now I don’t mind the odd needle here and there, its just that my tummy doesn’t feel the same.

Scott is the jabber in our house and hes just about sick every time he thinks about it.

Today I thought I would get very brave and take a photo of his ‘art’ work.

It actually looks much better in the photo than it does in ‘real life’.

Only about 8 more days of jabbing to go! Ha ha

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BTW – My tummy is not the greatest at the best of times so please forgive me. However it is a little on the swallon side atm.

 

 

 

1/2 Way Through The 2WW

Well I’m half way through the 2ww and I feel just fine!

No desperate need to pee on a stick.  I have not been feeling my boobs constantly, I don’t feel sick, I just feel normal.

I’m 99% sure this go will not work.  And that’s ok.  There will be other cycles.

I’m VERY use to this now.

I know I have a week to go before my bt but no, I wont feel the need to do a HPT.

I’m on ‘happy pills’ you see.  They keep me so calm I just don’t have that burning desire to go to the shops and buy boxes of pee sticks.
Hell I have one in my bathroom and I can safely say I wont use it!!!

I brought it 3 cycles ago and never felt the need to use it.  They are evil little things anyway.

So I will just plod along for the next 7 or 8 days.

I have booked in to see our Dr the day of our bt so if it is a neg we can discuss what to do next.

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Interesting Website On UCA

I have been reading a bit about UCA (Umbilical Cord Accidents) and was discussing this in a support group. One of the members sent me this website to have a look at.

I have not read it all but what I have read is very interesting (VERY sad that there even has to be a site on it) but thought some of you might be interested in reading it.

http://www.preginst.com/

It is an American site so many of you may have come across it already.

A New Look – Again!!!!

Ok, once again the look of my blog has changed!!  Will see how long this once lasts for.  I just cant seem to find a theme I like.

From A Special Person

 

 

Our love for you is not written on paper, for paper can be erased.

Nor is our love for you etched in stone, for stone can be broken.

But our love for you is inscribed in our hearts, where it will remain forever.

 

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This was made for me by a VERY special person a few months ago. The verse at the top of the post is what is written under Zak’s photo.

I have been trying to work out how to get it on here at a size that can been seem for a while now. I can be very blonde sometimes. Lol

Anyway I worked it out today and wanted to share it with you all.

Thanks so much Lisa.

 

How Many More Of ‘Those’ Phone Calls Will There Be?

You know when your baby dies and you get the people who call to say how sorry they are and then you get the people who call to see how your pregnancy is going because they have no idea your baby is dead??!!

When do these calls ever stop?

For months after Zak died I would get phone calls or run into people at the shops who didn’t know what happened. They would ask where our baby was. ‘You must have given birth by now?’

‘Yup sure have, we had a boy, he died’.

What else do you say. You kind of feel like you have to jump in with the ‘dead baby’ bit before they congratulate you because it will be far worse for them to say ‘how happy they are for you’ and THEN get told your baby is not alive.

So you jump in to tell them your sad news. Almost like your desperate for them to know, almost giving the impression your a hard, uncaring person who doesn’t care your baby is dead. But you do it to save THEIR feelings.

I wonder if they know that?

I thought I was over running into people or having people ask. Its been months since I have had a phone call from a caring person who is just calling to see how I am. A phone call from someone who I have not talked to for so long that the last time I saw them I wasn’t even pregnant.

So when the phone rang today and the person at the other end asked ‘ what we had been up to’ my heart dropped to the very bottom of my stomach.

‘What do you know?’ I had no idea if someone had told her. How much she knew, if she knew anything about what had happened.

So when she said ‘nothing, why what’s happened’? I just wanted to die.

It knocked the wind out of me and I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to hang up and cry. Instead I just cried.

I was so sure phone calls like this were finished with.

They are draining conversations to have. They upset all that are having the conversation. I feel bad for the people that ring, having no idea what they are about to be told.

You can tell they are just wanting the ground to open up so they can fall in to a big hole. You know they wish they hadn’t called at all. And you know they probably wont call again.

Thanks For Your Comments

I just want to thank everyone who comments on my blog.

I’m one of those people who gets excited when I get a bill in the post, let alone a letter.

So you can imagine how excited I get when I see someone has posted.

Its nice to know there are others out there who think what you have to say is worth commenting on, and that people do care what you are going through.

I try and comment on EVERY blog I read because I know how much it means to people.

I saw a post yesterday about it being ‘ leave a comment’ week.

I think that’s a great idea and I hope to read more comments from anyone who is reading but yet to leave their thoughts.