Someone To Talk To

I thought it might be a idea to find myself a nice psychologist to chat to.

Don’t get me wrong, S is great to talk to but I think I need to cry.

S is also fine to cry with, but I feel bad.  He has to go to work each day and he doesn’t need to be worried if I’m coping or not.  I try so hard not to get upset around him and I know he would be really upset to think I didn’t want to cry around him but he just doesn’t need that worry.  If he thinks I’m at home crying all the time I know he will feel terrible and helpless stuck at work worried about me.

I try not to cry around Mum and Dad.  My Dad is not coping really well with the whole thing and he gets so upset.  I need my Dad to know we are ok so hes not upset all the time.

Its hard work keeping in all this sadness.  Sometimes all the emotions come from no where and there is just no keeping them in.  I think this might be why I feel worse now than I did 12 months ago.

Anyway I was looking in the phone book for someone to talk to who was close to home.  I found the name of a lady but it didn’t say what she specialised in so I thought I would give her a call.  As it turns out she works one day per week about 10 minutes from my home and shes connected to the IVF clinic we go to!  How odd is that??  She specialises in IVF and pg loss.  Not only will it cost me nothing (as she works with the IVF clinic so I’m covered through them) but she had a cancellation on Wed. 

Everything fell into place and I feel like I went looking for someone at the right time, I called at the right time, just when I needed to talk to someone the most.

Hope she has a big box of tissues because I think once I start I might not be able to stop!


8 Responses

  1. Sounds like fate – I hope she is everything you need. Maybe take a travel pack of tissues just in case she runs out:) Seriously, I’m glad you are going to see someone and that she can help you feel better without you feeling like you are losing Zak all over again ((hugs)) Jill x

  2. I feel so sad for you, people say it gets easier but sometimes it just feels like we are getting worse the longer it has been. I get it, I get what you are going through. Others expect you to be over it by now, you never will be ever. I am so pleased you have found this person to talk to, I hope they are everything you need and more. I went to a P for about 6 months every week after Luke died as well as the support group, it helps but keep up with the happy pills too, they are marvellous. I am always here if you need someone to talk to too. Hugs.

  3. I think its a perfect idea B I really do, infact I have been thinking about it more and more myself. We have some great councellors at MIVF and they will come locally to you if needed. Please keep me updated.
    As for S, I know what your saying, sometimes I just don’t want to cry around him anymore cause I am so scared he is getting sick of me just sooking all the time, but they are good men.

  4. I am so glad you found her. You have been so brave and strong for so long!

    It is fate, and you know i am a big beliver in fate, after the grandmother incident!!

    it is absolute fate and it will be just the right thing right now.

    Love and lollies


  5. I hope it helps. {{{hugs}}}

  6. Wow! What luck!

    Trust me, psychologists stay stocked up on the tissues. And they expect you to use them, so don’t hold back!

  7. Hope it helps.

    Also best best best of luck with cycle #9.

  8. Dear Brenda,

    I’m so glad that you found someone who specializes in infertility and loss–and it does sound like fate. I truly understand the part where you say that you feel worse now than you did a year ago. I went through the same thing–I honestly thought I was in shock for the first year. I found going to talk to someone really helpful (I tried to sort it on my own for the first year and I finally had to admit I was getting worse, not better). I truly hope talking to the psychologist helps you, as much as it has helped me. I also did EMDR, which made a huge difference to how traumatized I have been.

    And make good use of the kleenex–I know I do!

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