What Should Have Been

My jolly mood from yesterday has not seemed to have followed me into today.
I’m really not a anti Mothers Day person. I’m a Mum and I don’t mind celebrating it.
Today though I just feel a little off. I think its a mixture of things.
Mothers Day two years ago was the day I went to hospital and then delivered Zak the next day, S is at work today, Thursday coming would have been Zak’s second birthday, I’m hormonal from this pregnancy and I think its all just a little too much. I miss my beautiful boy and I should be in bed with him now having a cuddle.

Just wanted to add that today S gave me a beautiful card for Mothers Day and the ‘Cherish’ Willow Tree figurine. He always knows how to make me feel better.


11 Responses

  1. Thinking of you and S! Sending all our love.

  2. Oh Brenda, Zak was so beautiful. I hate it that you lost so much and I’m sending love to you and S on a day that can rub salt into wounds like no other ((hugs))

  3. You know every time I look at this photo of Zak my mind goes into a spin. He looks like there is nothing at all wrong with him and it just blows me away that hes not here. For a 32 week bub he looks very healthy, not sick and even chubby. I think I’m shocked every time I see this photo.


  4. What a handsome and beautiful baby boy. My heart breaks for you both. A future lifetime of blissful happiness isn’t nearly enough to make you & Scott amends for what you’ve lost, but it’s what I hope & pray for for you both.

    I keep forgetting that Mother’s Day is in May the rest of the world. Seems that you have your tough days stacked up into one week. Wish I could come round and give you a big big BIG hug, but it’ll have to be virtual – you is a long way away! ((((hugs))))

  5. He does look absolutely fine in this photo – as if nothing is wrong at all. He looks the same way as Beanie when he is asleep. It is shocking.

    Lots of love and thinking of little Zak.

  6. He was a Gorgeous baby sweetie. And I know that he’s looking down on you today and sending all his love to his mommy and Daddy today.
    I’m Sending Lots and Lots of hugs

  7. Thinking of you and sharing this pain with you.

    My little girl Maya was born 16th May 06 and died 5 days later.

    I am sure they have found each other as they have travelled on.

    I’m walking along with you as you carry your head low this week.

    You’re not alone, even though it feels like it.

    much care


  8. Thinking of you and hoping you feel my arms wrapped around you this week. Big hugs to you, my dear, big hugs.

  9. What a beautiful baby! I am so sorry Zak is not here with you.

  10. I hate these stories that include beautiful pictures of perfect looking babies and end up like this. I’m so, so sorry. he’s adorable. Thinking of you all today.

  11. wow, your Zak is so handsome in this photo.
    so sorry for this bitter sweet occasion.

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